I decided this morning that I would record my thoughts during this period of “going dark” as private posts, that I would then unlock once I came up for air at the end of my hiatus. Perhaps because I hope that my thoughts might be useful to others as they attempt a similar period of being “unplugged”. Perhaps because I need something to take the edge off lest the shakes really set in… at this moment, I don’t recall how I reacted to going dark the first time, but there is definitely a “jones” going on right now that doesn’t exactly surprise me. If anything, it just underscores that this was the right thing to do.
I came home Friday, January 1 after a day spent amongst friends IRL, and as is my usual wont sat down at my computer. After checking my e-mail, the news, comments on my “be back in a few months post”, and the weather I sat there wondering what else I could do. *twitch* That is in police work what we call a clue. Time for sleep meds, a little Trism to occupy my brain while the sleep meds kicked in, and off to dreamland.
Saturday I slept in. Sat down at the computer as realized I had a bad case of “what the fuck do I do now?” Discussed some things with Nora over IM, went back for a nap, got up and eventually moseyed over to Eric & Michelle’s for MENYGWACON. I chatted, I played games, won at Carcassone and came in close in Alhambra and Gates of Lo-yang (sp?). Came home and realized that I was going to have a period of separation anxiety over this whole going dark thing. I discussed a few more thing with Nora over IM, spent some time with my feathered children, and went to bed.
When I came downstairs this morning, I realized that I needed some kind out outlet, at least for now. I have to write… that is in my blood. And hopefully sometime soon that need will be turned to more creative endeavors as I begin to free myself from the social network addiction that I now must admit to myself. I’ve got a metric ass-load of things that need doing so that I have space to work, both physically and mentally, and so I should hop to it. The real challenge will be to see how long I feel I need to keep doing this kind of mental purge before I can let go of the crutch and take those first wobbly unassisted steps away from the keyboard.
TTFN